Dandy in the Underworld

By Sebastian Horsely
Harper Perennial

A dandy is a man who places a freakish amount of importance on physical appearance and Sebastian Horsley, it seems, is dandyism personified. Horsley’s “unauthorized” autobiography was incredibly difficult to get through - at first. Aside from being completely self indulgent and narcissistic, it aggravated me with its lack of feeling.

Horsley, a sometimes artist, sometimes prostitute, sometimes drug addict who is most well known for getting nailed to a cross in the Philippines as part of the country’s yearly re-enactment of Jesus’ crucifixion, is not an easy man to get a handle on. There seems to be some kind of disconnect between who he is and his actions, which leads to a kind of indifference that is unsettling and difficult to understand. Despite painting a less than desirable picture of his childhood, which included a consistently drunk and mentally unstable mother and alcoholic, womanizing father, Horsley refuses to acknowledge that his upbringing had any effect on his outcome as a whoring, using, shell of a person. The most you’ll get out of him is that his mother’s dramatic fashion sense had a profound influence on the flamboyant style he calls his own.

Horsley, despite his claims otherwise, is not an easy man to like. After constant stream of sexist claims such as, “A Page Three Girl (a topless model) understands what no feminist ever could: An obedient girl commands her man,” it’s hard to take anything he says seriously - and I don’t recommend that you do. That being said, there is no disputing the fact that Horsley is clever and nothing if not humorous.

As the autobiography (and his life) moves along, you get a sense of his killer sense of humor and razor sharp wit. His detachment and irreverence is almost comedic. Whether he’s describing his feverish love of prostitutes, the act of having sex with a woman who has no arms and legs or squandering hundreds of thousands of dollars on his addiction to drugs, Horsley does it in a way that is completely blasé and unfeeling.

We live in a time where people feel compelled to put their life story down in book form, even if they’re a mere twenty-years-old and have accomplished little more than contracting gonorrhea or winning American Idol, for the sake of acceptance or money or fame or something else less tangible. Sebastian Horsley has thrown his hat into the ring and whether it’s a successful attempt or not, I still cannot say because I can’t seem to get past the amount of money he’s blown on drugs and hookers.

Review by Tina Vasquez

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Dandy in the Underworld